Halting Problem

In San Francisco, Your Barista Is Probably A Retired Techie

Their motivations vary from honing their coffeemaking craft, imposing some structure on an otherwise open-ended life, or “cosplaying as a normal…

Feb 9 • Halting Problem

2

December 2025

Waymo Car Arrested For Murdering Innocent Animals

Investigators say that 6LVA811 exploited blind spots in its sensor coverage to execute the killings, effectively hiding the incidents from its data…

Dec 29, 2025 • Halting Problem

1

October 2025

At SF's Spooky Streets Event, Be Afraid Of AI

We were jumpscared by a CEO who announced that we all needed to use AI day-to-day or receive a “does not meet expectations” performance review.

Oct 28, 2025 • Halting Problem

August 2025

Transhumanists Criticize mRNA Vaccine Funding Cuts, Worry About Negative Effects On 5G Reception

Cutting vaccine funding would make it significantly more difficult for people to inject themselves with life-improving 5G microchips.

Aug 14, 2025 • Halting Problem

1

May 2025

San Francisco Car Window Smashings Traced To Auto Glass Repair Shops

They wanted to make auto glass repair great again.

May 12, 2025 • Halting Problem

2

March 2025

SF Man Robbed At Gunpoint For Eggs

The victim was robbed of all 10 cartons of 5 dozen eggs he had purchased.

Mar 20, 2025 • Halting Problem

1

February 2025

To Get Ahead In Silicon Valley, Start Running

"Now I’m signed up for a 50k race with my manager. I’m not sure whether I should let him beat me or not."

Feb 27, 2025 • Halting Problem

1

January 2025

Marie Kondo's New Chapter: Tech Layoff Consultant

“Working with Marie was a lot cheaper than hiring Bain. Plus, she was a lot more kawaii.”

Jan 29, 2025 • Halting Problem

6

Opinion: I Am Rich And Know Exactly What I'm Doing With My Life

Welcome to the club.

Jan 9, 2025 • Halting Problem

3

1

1

Area Man Works In Tech To Learn How To Become Barista

"Working in tech would best set me up for what I would ultimately want to be: a hipster barista in a tiny coffee shop somewhere in the city."

Jan 7, 2025 • Halting Problem

1

Desperate SF Resident Offers $10,000 Dating Referral Bonus

The bonus is for whomever introduces him to his future spouse or person he has a child with, “whichever comes first.”

Jan 7, 2025 • Halting Problem

1

Amazon Alexa Now Calls Out Microaggressions, Politically Incorrect Speech

"So then we thought — how can we leverage mass surveillance for the greater good?”

Jan 7, 2025 • Halting Problem