Transhumanists Criticize mRNA Vaccine Funding Cuts, Worry About Negative Effects On 5G Reception
Cutting vaccine funding would make it significantly more difficult for people to inject themselves with life-improving 5G microchips.
SAN FRANCISCO, CALIFORNIA - In response to RFK Jr’s cancellation of $500M of federal mRNA vaccine funding, the San Francisco Transhumanist Society issued a statement criticizing the funding cut as a “huge blow to our 5G infrastructure.”
Spokesperson Damian Popescu told us that the Transhumanist Society’s mission is to promote the use of technology to enhance the human condition, and that cutting vaccine funding would make it significantly more difficult for people to inject themselves with life-improving 5G microchips.
“I myself was an early adopter of the COVID vaccine, as it had a novel and more elegant mechanism of action compared to the previous state of the art.” said Mr. Popescu. “In addition, I was excited to have way better cell reception thanks to the intravenous Snapdragon X60 5G modems included in the Pfizer shot.”
Mr. Popescu also believes that the Department of Health and Human Service’s funding cuts will harm future research and development that would improve the human condition, such as “mRNA vaccines that can cure cancer” and “neural interface chips that can read your thoughts to use as training data for AI models.”
“This administration is exhibiting some incredibly backwards thinking. It’s clear that these vaccines are safe, effective, and crucial to the future of humanity merging with machines. If the government won’t fund this, we’ll have to beg Bill Gates for money again.”